top of page

Awakening -Not Elegant & Not Graceful

I have heard it said that this time we are living in will be referred to as “The Great Awakening”. This is yet another stage of human evolution. A time when humanity is “waking up” to what has been and is currently happening on our planet. Things such as injustice, violence, toxicity, numbness, cruelty towards animals and people, sickness, disease, famine, communism, war, environmental pollution & destruction which causes irreparable damage to ecosystems. We have concluded, without a doubt, that there are better ways to do things. Better ways to live. We are becoming seekers.

So how is it that one gets to that grand stage of an awakening? It varies. Each of us have our own set of paths, circumstances and lessons that lead us there. We travel down these different roads and we leave behind old ideals, belief systems and former conditioning, usually regarding social acceptance, behaviors and religion. We also change our self-image, our image of others and all things of this world. We almost always develop a deeper understanding for the planet herself, Gaia. We arrive at an expanded state of consciousness.


Integrating this new existence into reality is difficult because we still have a life to live. We still have husbands, wives, family, friends, work, parenting, appointments etc. Most likely, it will take years before we are operating from our awakened state. Because as humans we screw up. We cave and go back to old conditioning, relationships and habits. This is not preferable but it is understandable and it is OK. It does take time to learn the lessons being taught in those relapses. And each lesson learned quiets the little voice in our minds, a.k.a. the ego, that tells us things to make us doubt ourselves. We no longer have the same interests, goals, relationships or behaviors. Some of us change career paths. It can be very confusing, unmotivating and not at all what you expected “waking up” to be like. It almost feels as if you’re going through some sort of test or initiation.

Unfortunately, it is a necessary process in order to remove the ego who is constantly throwing shade in our direction. Casting doubt, fear & judgement at the things we do. As we progress, our subconscious will keep pulling things to the surface so we can process them and heal those parts of ourselves. This is sometimes called shadow work. As we consistently face our issues it becomes easier to see, accept and release all that no longer serves us in our new reality. We learn to live more from our “higher self” and we usually spend a good chunk of time restructuring our lives to suit our new way of “being”.

Take myself, for example. I worked for twelve years in the automotive industry. Ten of those years was in a corporate environment. I was overworked, emotionally overwhelmed, mentally stressed, my health was suffering, I was developing allergies that triggered awful physical side effects. I was depressed. While my job was a good financial fit, I just didn’t like it anymore. The pandemic hit at a time when I was already dealing with multiple challenges. I was suffering from an inner ear disorder called labyrinthitis. Basically, you have vertigo / motion sickness 24/7. What helps? A combination of lots of medication & bedrest. Episodes for me usually last up to two weeks. I had lost both of my aunts within a month of each other. I lost one of my furry family members, Mae Ling. She was a hilarious and bold 22 years old feline who left behind a wonderfully adorable and loving sister, Sweetie. Following that was the loss of my grandmother to COVID. We couldn’t even have a funeral for her with all the restrictions. I was at such a low point in my life. I couldn’t take care of myself physically, nor did I even want to. I was pretty deep in the depths of shock, sadness and hopelessness. Then came more losses. Mae Ling’s sister, Sweetie passed and I lost my mother to cancer. Even while treading those dark and scary waters, I knew that there was still a plan for me. This sudden curiosity took over. A hunger for knowledge and a drive for change. A passion for spirituality. I began to follow my hunches and develop my intuition. I sat down and evaluated my life. I let go of all that was weighing me down which included people / relationships, places and habits. I began multiple spiritual practices and did them daily. Practices like energy healing, meditation and crystal therapy. I started doing moon rituals and journaling. And in doing these practices consistently, I became more open and began to live my life more authentically. I attended a spiritual retreat in Sedona, Arizona and came back home and got to work on embodying that which I wanted to be. I eventually quit my corporate job to start my own business as a meditation facilitator, reiki practitioner and crystal therapist. Simultaneously, I was doing workshops and taking courses to get my certifications. I was taking classes on marketing and content creating. Also, during that time, I was learning how to build this website and how to record, edit and produce my own guided meditations. That led me to now, where I have started another journey. Blogging!

With all of the darkness caused by loss, grief, sadness and fear, I was still grateful. Because without it, I would not have been forced to re-evaluate my life choices. I would not have changed my perspectives and priorities, which absolutely saved my life. In dealing with their loss, I learned a lot that I didn't know about people who were close to me. That made me realize that life is too short for stress and self-sabotage. Forgiveness on all levels is a necessary step to any kind of inner peace. And that my own happiness is just as important as everyone else's. So, as you can see, self-realization or “awakening” requires a lot of inner and outer work. It is critical for you to know that the work never stops. We do not have just the one journey in this life. We have many journeys like the one I described above. It is also critical for you to know that in this new state of “being” it is easier to tolerate and navigate because the mind is no longer cluttered with conditioning, attachment, limitations, doubts or fears. As we do the shadow work, we heal. Being free from these things allows space for our “higher self” to come through and guide our thoughts. And because of that, a life of action steps, fulfillment, happiness and ultimately peace becomes our reality.

Look, I know you’re disappointed, I was too! Growth and expansion will never be easy. We have to give up things, we have to leave our comfort zones, we have to forgive the unforgivable, we have to face our fears, we have to live more from our hearts and we have to work hard at maintaining this new way of being. I’m not saying that getting there CAN'T be all glitter, unicorns and rainbows. It could very well be, for some. In my own personal experience though, and for most folks out there, I would say “batten down the hatches!” and get ready to face life’s journeys, your journeys, in all of their chaotic beauty.



11 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All